Melissa Hotel Riyadh

Let's be honest, folks. The Melissa Hotel isn't exactly the Ritz-Carlton. It's tucked away in a part of Riyadh that makes even tumbleweeds do U-turns. You'll half expect a sandstorm to roll through your room and leave a complimentary camel for company. The decor? Think Aladdin's bargain bin. We're talking flying carpet patterns on the floor (not magic, just suspiciously stained) and enough gold trim to make Liberace blush. I swear, I saw a lamp that looked suspiciously like it could grant wishes, but all it did was flicker menacingly. But here's the thing: despite the, ahem, "rustic" charm, the staff were absolute diamonds. Friendly, helpful, and spoke enough English to translate my panicked shouts of "Where am I?!" into calming reassurances. The rooms themselves were surprisingly comfy. Think plush beds, strong air conditioning (a lifesaver in that heat!), and even a balcony – perfect for people-watching the occasional stray goat (seriously). And the gym? Now that was a revelation. We're talking hardcore iron heaven. This place could have hosted a Rocky training montage. So, if you're on a shoestring budget and looking for an "adventure" stay, the Melissa might just be your oasis in the desert of luxury hotels. Just pack some hand sanitizer and maybe a blindfold for the decor. But hey, at least you'll leave with sculpted arms and a story to tell!